Do you believe computers can change the world? In 1992 I fell into a debate with my then-girlfriend about computer technology and online communities. To her, computers were a waste of time, a distraction from things that really mattered. She was a writer. She wrote with pen and pad. I was a computer junkie, desktop publisher, and online forum moderator. I wrote too, but my writing was conversational and with people I only knew through my screen and keyboard.

She resigned her side of the debate when I spoke passionately about how the online world could change society, education, nationalism, and everything. I argued that in the computer world, people were not judged by age, gender, economic status, accent, or country of origin. You were valued based on what you said and how you said it. That was before online video, photographic avatars, and social media sites that share your birthday and “which sex in the city character you are most like”.

Slowly I watched my revolution take place, while at the same time, I watched my utopian dreams shattered by spam, porn, gambling, big media, and online shopping. The old networks are gone, replaced by the internet, which has expanded into an unimaginably brilliant universe where the best and the worst of everything co-exists. Still, I never forgot my dream.

How we spend our time online is up to us. We can watch reruns of “The Family Guy” or we can attend lectures at Harvard or Stanford from anywhere in the world. We can shop until we drop, or we can invest in people’s future through micro-financing sites like Kiva.org. Ultimate, how we spend our time defines us.

I recently decided to use some of my time differently. I created a social networking site built around the simple idea of kindness. The site brings together people and humanitarian organizations in a new way. My reasoning is that there is strength in numbers and a community of kind people can impact the world meaningfully beneficent ways.

Are you activating social change through social media? How are you making a difference? Tell me at KindLike.Us

Anyone who builds a new website today quickly realizes that it’s nearly impossible to get noticed without making some substantial efforts. You can market your website using traditional marketing promotions, but these only work while the program is running. Using the web to grow your long tail visibility will increase your exposure long after the campaign has ended. Long tail marketing requires time and effort, but the lasting benefits provide great value to your web presence.

Web Directories
Web directories provide reference and contact information about your business. It is likely that your business is already listed in many popular web directories but those listings are incomplete. This is due to the way directories are initially created from public domain sources. Your job is to find the web directories where you are listed and enhance the listing with additional descriptive information, including a URL to your business website. You might not have a top-ranked site, but the web directory entry for your site might bring your customers one click closer to you.

Social Bookmarking Sites
While web directories are created from information that has been collected elsewhere, social bookmarking sites aggregate the personal web directories of many individuals. The idea behind social bookmarking is that I might share interests with you, and you might have sites bookmarked that I would like, so if you share your bookmarks, I can see which sites you think are important. Social bookmarking gives people an additional way to find your site.

Leveraging Content Aggregators
Sites like YouTube, Flickr, and DeviantArt are content aggregators because they offer unlimited space for anybody to upload and share their content. Often, people will upload to a content aggregator and then share a link to the content on their site, creating an outbound link. But within the sites themselves, you can create a user profile that includes a description of your business and a link to your website. Content aggregators will help you connect with different audiences and can increase awareness of your business.

Creating Original Content for High Authority Sites
The most valuable inbound links come from high traffic sites with a reputation for having high quality and authoritative content. If you establish yourself as an authority in your field by creating high quality content that is popular or informative with internet users, you can increase your visibility by offering to develop content for high profile sites to be published with a byline briefly describing your business and including your website address.

Encouraging RSS Subscriptions
When another website publishes an RSS feed of your website, each article of the feed will have an inbound link to your site. Every published RSS feed will evangelize your brand and increase your visibility. Optimize your blog format for RSS and you will more likely encourage others to publish your feed.

Blog and Forum Participation
This is perhaps the best way to increase visibility. There are literally millions of blogs and forums that you can participate with. Spend a few hours or days researching these resources to find the most active and relevant places for your participation. Develop a reputation on the sites as someone who is helpful and authoritative, and nobody will mind an occasional plug for your website. Just don’t overdo it. Community members recognize when someone is just there to push their products and they will be left with a negative impression rather than the positive one that you should cultivate.

This list is far from comprehensive, but it should give you a good start on your web marketing program. As the web continues to evolve, some of these approaches may lose favor, and others may appear that are not yet popular. What are you doing to build your long tail web presence?

Tim Piazza is the lead architect of social media and interactive marketing at Keller Crescent Advertising, Indiana’s largest independently owned advertising agency. You can read Tim’s blog at http://www.bzzmatters.com, follow Tim on Twitter @TimPiazza and learn more about Keller Crescent Advertising at http://www.kellercrescentadvertising.com

My wife and I regularly share dinner at a mexican restaurant near our home. The service is usually pretty good, though variable. A few weeks ago we had an exceptional waiter serving us. He did everything right. He was friendly and attentive, and made sure we were pleased with everything. We enjoyed a little conversation with him at the end of the meal and when we complimented him on his exceptional service he suggested we could ask for his table the next time if we wanted to.

A week later, that’s what we did. This time he lingered a little longer, spending more time chatting with us, asking about some of our interests based on what he observed. He stopped by our table often, and made sure we were happy with everything. He was generous with his time, and we were generous with our tip.

The next time we asked for his table, he arrived with a pitcher of sangria, two glasses of water, and two wine glasses with ice, just like we had ordered in the past. He tried to anticipate our needs and accommodate us the best way he could, through exceptional and unforgettable service. If our waiter ever has his own restaurant, I’m sure it will be a success.

It’s relatively easy for waiters to provide personal and memorable service, as all they have to do is do what is best for the customer, even if it requires additional effort on their part. But it’s just as easy for large businesses to do the same. Zappos.com has built a reputation around exceptional and unforgettable service. It’s so good that they are growing their business largely on word-of-mouth advertising. I’ve never bought a pair of shoes from Zappos, but I’ve recommended them to others simply based on what I have heard. I want to be a good guy, contributing to someone else’s delightful experiences.

Social marketing is really quite simple. Help yourself by helping others, even if it means recommending a competitor’s product. What you lose in a sale, you gain in loyalty and reputation. Treat a customer fairly and honestly, and you’ll soon see their friends at your door. We’ve recommended our waiter to our friends and other regulars at the restaurant. Anyone who delivers memorable service deserves all of the success they can handle.

There are ways that you can address this problem, but first you need to chill. Let your emotions wane so that you can address the issue with a clear head. Evaluate your position in the community. How long have you been a member? Are you a recent arrival, or have you been engaged in conversation for years? How about the other member? These distinctions matter and dictate the best course of action.

It’s never a good idea to take up the challenge. You will get sucked into a battle that you cannot win because it will polarize and alienate most members of the community regardless of who’s right. Don’t even acknowledge that a gauntlet has been thrown.

If you are a recent arrival, the best thing you can do is to let it go. You’re better off not responding at all than to engage the other party and risk an ugly scene. Some people tend to impose their hostility on communities where they feel they have nothing at stake. If you allow yourself to sucked into a flamewar with one of these individuals, you will lose credibility. The other member might have a reputation for being a hothead or a bigot but also a respected authority in good standing with the community. If you’re new, you wouldn’t know that. As the custodian of a brand, you have much more at risk than the other person. That’s why it’s best to let it go.

Assume you are a member in good standing with the community and the other member is new, that might also be a good time to sit back. Other senior members in the community will most likely come to your aid and interject themselves into the situation. You  might even appeal to one or two in private, asking them if they might intercede on your behalf. While this won’t work when you’ve newly joined a community, it’s a very effective way for established members to preserve the peace.

If you are both long time members of the community, then it’s likely that someone made a mistake. One of you said something and it came across much harsher than either of you intended. Your best action is a direct and graceful admittance that somehow you got off on the wrong foot and to offer an apology–regardless of whether you believe the other person was wrong or right. Again, you have more at risk, and a willingness to be diplomatic will improve your standing among the general community.

Conflict is a part of online conversation. At one time or another, it happens to everyone. But gentle humor, attention toward the community as a group, and diplomacy can guide you through any conflict without damage to your reputation or to your brand.

I know it’s tempting when realizing that there is a huge audience on the other end of that wire attached to your keyboard to jump on the soapbox and tell everyone about your great brand, product, or service. Don’t bother. It doesn’t work. Standing in a crowd and shouting your message goes over about as well as a street corner evangelist in Harvard Square. Yeah, there’s a crowd, but they’re not listening. The first rule of marketing through social media: Don’t shout to the crowd.

There is something you can do. Observe and listen. Find the people who do command attention. In any social community, there is at least one magnetic personality to whom everyone’s ear is turned. This is the person you want to share your message with, and maybe they’ll pass that message along. The second rule of marketing through social media: Develop relationships with respected authorities.

Social media isn’t just the top tier blogs and forums that hold a million or more visitors. There are thousands upon thousands of niche blogs and forums where you can speak directly to the people who are most likely to have affinity for your products. This is obviously time consuming and it can be a full time job–even several full time jobs. The way to make it work is by understanding who is listening to whom. The greater share of bloggers pick up their information from other sources. They pick up the news, and feed it to their audience. On the other hand, if you reach too far up the chain, you dilute your message because each authority will add their own insight as the message comes to them. The third rule of marketing through social media: Find the sweet spot in the information chain.

You may know who the magnetic personalities are, and where they’re getting their information. If you do, congratulations. It takes quite a bit of work and persistence to figure that out for any given market. But your campaign is only successful if your message reaches the people you wanted to target in the first place. Your assumptions of how the information flows can be wrong, or your information might not be packaged in the right way. You won’t know this unless you monitor the social media network to see when and if your message is reaching your audience. The fourth rule of marketing through social media: Make sure the message you intended reaches the audience.

I’ve greatly oversimplified the process in this post, but my intention here is not to provide a marketing plan. Rather, it’s to stimulate thinking about how marketing through social media can work by identifying the hierarchy of information propagators and cultivating relationships that ensure reach without overextending your effort or your budget.

I welcome your comments, and I’m sure that not everyone agrees with my view so go ahead–express yourself!